Cocooning in the Schultz House

Friends and Family,

In case you were unaware, by nature, I am a people-pleaser.  I rarely say no when someone asks a favor of me and I  feel guilty for weeks when I do say no.  So, please know that the following post is not intended to upset anyone, but rather, to explain how our family is going to function for the next several weeks.

Our homecoming needs to be as low-key as possible. Because we want to protect Eli from any additional shock, we are asking that only family members meet us at the airport when we get home Wednesday. As much as I would love to have a huge crowd welcoming Eli home, we just can't say how he'll react to that, and we don't want to chance it becoming something scary for him. 

We will be laying low for awhile.  Our number one priority is to our son and building a strong bond with him.  It's so important to teach him that we are his parents and that Lili is his sister.  It is critical that this bond happens before he bonds with any other family or friends.  The way we will do this is by staying home for a couple of weeks {or longer} until we feel that Elijah is ready to be introduced to other places.

When you do see us, it is probable that Eli will get overwhelmed.  Places and people will be all new to our baby.  When we do venture out, we will likely not go to places with lots of people and may not stay long.  Please don't be offended if we leave early or quickly {good-byes may need to be implied}. 

We will do some things with Eli that will look more like what we should do with a baby than what we should do with a toddler.  Although Eli is already a year old, his "family age" will begin when I pick him up from the orphanage (what a beautiful day that will be!!!).  We will not potty train as early as we did with Lili.  We will continue to feed him very much like a baby {he still takes bottles and will most likely continue to take them for many months to come}.  We will hold him, carry him and rock him as much as he will tolerate, partly because this is essential to the bonding process and partly because we have missed out on doing that for his entire first year and WE ARE READY FOR ELI SNUGGLES!!!!

Tobin and I will need to meet ALL of Eli's needs. If he needs fed, changed, held, rocked, disciplined, or helped, we will need to do all of that for quite a while.  For those of you who will come to visit, please do not try to meet any of his needs as this is, again, essential to his bonding with us.

Coming to visit us will be different than normal.  We want people to come to visit, but please be aware of the previously mentioned things.  For the first few weeks, if you come to our house, we ask that you please call first.  We do not want more than one family here at a time so as not to overwhelm our little guy.  We also ask that you plan for the visit to be quick.  We will not feel comfortable asking you to leave, so please just do that on your own.  If you come, feel free to bring your kids with you as Lili would love to see her  buddies! :)  Many of you have asked about bringing a meal. This would be a huge blessing to us, but please do not feel obligated to do so. Our friend, Jen Chase, has volunteered to  organize the meals, so please shoot her an email (jnchase311@yahoo.com) if this is something you're interested in doing. 

All of this is essential before we can begin the prosthetic process. Our sweet Eli has been well cared for in his orphanage, but he does not know how to be a part of a family yet.  It is essential for him to have lots of time and opportunity to bond with us and understand that he is a part of our family forever.  Once we have his complete trust, we will be able to begin the prosthetic process. No doubt this will be a very scary time for him, so his unquestioned love and trust in us is an absolute must.   

Thank you for helping us through this process and for your continued prayerful support.  We love you all!

Now, if you 'll excuse me, I've got a plane to catch ;)