It's been a while since I've posted....
In all honesty I was waiting until I had some good news to post.
OK, ANY news to post.
So, I've been waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Have I mentioned how much I dislike waiting?
But, if I just posted when things were going great and according to {my} plan, I wouldn't be painting a very realistic picture of international adoption.
Or life.
When do things EVER go as smoothly as we want them to?
So I've been trying to say all the right things:
'It's all in God's timing.'
'I know Elijah is getting such great care where he is.'
'This will just make it that much sweeter when he DOES come home.'
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
But inside I'm wanting to scream. I'm wanting to stomp my feet and bang my fists. I'm wanting to cry and throw a fit that could easily rival that of my precious four year old daughter.
I want to know why we can't get a court date already.
I want to know what is happening over there that is SO important that, while 'they' get their stuff organized, my son is sitting half way across the world not having a clue who is mommy and daddy and big sister are.
I want to hold him and love him and play with his freaking awesome fro-hawk.
I want to watch my sweet baby girl hold his hands and 'help teach him how to walk', as she says on a regular basis.
My insides are raging for answers. Dates. SOMETHING that I can put my hope in.
But, that's when I have to remind myself (albeit reluctantly) that answers through email, dates circled on calendars, even purchased plane tickets, won't give me the peace I am wanting.
Only God can do that.
And when I try and figure things out on my own, I end up back at the tantrum throwing stage.
It's not pretty. No one needs to see it.
So I am posting with no news.
And it sucks.
But, it is what it is.
Hopefully we will get word of a court date very soon. And then I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO POST IN ALL CAPS or something to show my excitement.
So in the meantime, if you don't mind, will you please commit to praying for a court date to happen for our sweet angel in the very near future?
I would be ever so grateful.
We get so much more honest the 2nd time around :) We'll just keep praying! LOVE you!
ReplyDeleteShannon! Thank you so much for being so true to the circumstances of this adoption, all the while, allowing us a window into your soul so we know how to pray! Thank you for sharing! I love that song by 10th ave. This is where the healing begins....this is where the healing starts....when it comes to where were broken within the light meets the dark! You being real...you shouting to the mountain tops about how you feel is very moving to the Lord! He KNOWS exactly how you feel, as he loves Elijah more than you or any of us ever could! He KNOWS dear sister....and he is so proud that you told Him! Love you so much and on our knees for you this moment!
ReplyDeleteSchultz family - I am so familiar with the frustration of waiting through adoption and I'll pray for the peace that can't come from a date or email. Thank you for the blog update, whether good or bad; we celebrate, cry and scream for answers with you. I know in my pain and frustration one particular song stood out to me and I tried to (and still try to)remember to praise God in all periods of quiet. Check out and listen to While I’m Waiting by John Waller. I hope it brings you comfort as it did me. My heart goes out to all of you. Praying!!!
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